Investments & Adventures: October

This month was the perfect example of why I wanted to start this monthly blog series at the beginning of 2019. Not only did I get to go on an awesome trip, but I got to grow in an area which God spoke to me at the end of last month, calling me to invest in it throughout October & beyond.

My adventure for October was a solo trip to northern Virginia! When I left Colorado, the hardest part for me hands-down was leaving the majesty of the mountains. It wasn’t just the excitement of hiking and getting the jaw-dropping views on my drives to work, but more importantly, I learned how to be alone, and how to simultaneously lose & find myself within the presence of the Lord and His creation. Don’t get me wrong, living at the beach for three years helped me to do the same, but there was something special about the adventurous lifestyle I felt I was living out west.

When God called me to move to Virginia, He made me a promise that the lifestyle I had grown to treasure & desire for my life, would not leave me. To be honest, adventure has found me right where I am, but the opportunity to take trips like this one revealed His promise in a new way. I was fortunate enough to reconnect with my dad’s cousin John and his wife Kathy at his 60th birthday party, who have been beloved family members since before my long-term memory begins. They live in Culpeper and hospitably allowed me to use their place as base-camp for my travels. It was wonderful to catch up with them & get to see a new part of the state.

On the first day, I drove to Shenandoah National Park for a hike! I got there right as the sun was rising, so Skyline Drive was absolutely breathtaking. Looking down on the clouds was an ethereal experience I will never forget, especially as I was able to spend the morning simply resting with the Lord. On the way back I found the perfect coffee shop to work out of, bringing me back to the humble mountain towns of Colorado that made me so full. The whole day brought the most beautiful mix of nostalgia, hope, and vision that I had known I needed for a while.

                

On the second day I somewhat-spontaneously made a trip to DC, specifically to visit Ebenezers Coffeehouse! As you can read about here, I read a book called The Circle Maker that included an incredible story about persevering in prayer that has stuck with me ever since. I had been wanting to go to this coffee shop for so long, just to be inspired even more by the love that was poured into its process of creation. So, I drove a second hour too long in 6am traffic to the nearest metro station, downloaded the DC metro app and bought a day pass to navigate myself to this coffee shop on Capitol Hill.

As much as I love people and being relational, I am admittedly an introvert who finds renewal in time alone. I also keep a constant check on my mental & emotional reserves, so I typically find a way to carve this time out when I know they are getting lower than normal. I cherish the way I’ve learned to quiet myself and hear the Lord speak, but amidst the busyness of life it can become harder to hear His whispers. Time for refreshment like I was able to receive this month is a memory I will look back on for years to come, knowing God instilled a passion for intimacy within me that could only be fulfilled by undistracted time with Him.

Gentleness is a quality that does not come naturally to me–I have to work at it. Throughout my teenage years specifically, I struggled with this. I was not soft, I was not calm, I was not tolerant, nor was I mild-mannered. As I invested in gentleness this month, I considered its definition and synonyms. To be mild-mannered means “not given to extremes of emotion”… well, I certainly knew that’s where I most often fall short in pursuing gentleness. For quite some time now I have been meditating on 1 Corinthians 13, what love is, and how to love people well. It was through this that God was able to get my attention and point out an area where He wanted to help me grow. For brevity’s sake (I could write an entire blog about this, but I’ll save it for now), I want to share a couple quotes from a devotional that stood out to me.

“Love is patient. This means you are willing to give others a long leash. It means you are being tolerant, you are being gentle, you are willing to accommodate others and extend grace to them. Patience and kindness go hand in hand, because being patient with people means that we do not retaliate but we do things that would bless them, things that would encourage and lift them up. We would speak words that would comfort and inspire them. In this way, we show kindness through our words and actions.”

The reason I love this quote is because it makes 1 Corinthians 13:4, practical. Let me share it with you in the TPT version: “Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance.” Showing love to those around us is easier said than done, especially when we consider that it includes the people who are much harder to love than others, and when we consider what it really means to love the way Jesus does. For me, pursuing gentleness is a starting point to growing closer to that goal each day, because I know its an area where God can do a big work within me. When something spurs on an emotional extreme, I strive to intentionally control my reaction so I don’t express anything less than love, even when I’m obviously upset. Anxiety has a way of trying to convince us that we cannot control our reactions, but that is a lie I will tirelessly work to silence.

“The powerful outcome of receiving God’s love and allowing him to flow through us is that we become gentle people… Love is shown through gentleness and selflessness. Be unselfish in your expressions of the gifts and good deeds that you do. Be gentle when you do so. Then you are walking the more excellent way.”

Devotional quotes pulled from Love Actually Is, All Peoples Church

 

 

Investments & Adventures: August

To my surprise, I’ve felt more “settled in” to life (for lack of a better term) this month perhaps more than I have all year. God has been doing new things in me & around me and I couldn’t feel better about it. My August adventure started with a trip to Wilmington & continued into a 60th birthday party for my dad. My investment has been in my word of the year: HOPE!

As a bit of a continuation of some things I mentioned in last month’s blog, I decided to spend a week in my college town of Wilmington, NC at the beginning of the month to spend some time with my sweet friends living there. I was able to stay with my best friend/freshman year roommate Brooke, catch up with my friends June, Shelby, & Chetna over drinks/dinner, & hang out with one of my sorority littles Reilly every day I was there! Not only did I get to unwind in good company, but I also spent some much-needed time alone working at coffee shops & lounging on Wrightsville Beach. As social as I am, I’m an introvert who needs her time away from it all, so this time was the perfect way for me to reset & prepare for the busyness of the month ahead as I began my new job with Yelp Hampton Roads & a new semester of classes.

It was truly a privilege to plan a 60th birthday celebration for my dad! He is more deserving than anyone to have a day all about him. His siblings were able to make the trip to visit us in North Carolina from all over: New York, Georgia, & Florida. He also had plenty of other long-time loved ones celebrate with us at our home where we had a huge cookout & party. I could go on and on about how awesome this day was for everyone, but for me it was an event planning adventure that couldn’t have meant more!

Hope is something I’d struggled to keep at the forefront of my mind in the last couple of years, on & off. I’ve let lots of discouragements, disappointments, & letdowns get the best of me to the point where it actually hurt to keep hoping in something. But God has shown me a better way to handle these emotions through the hope I can have in Him. While I knew I’ve been called to meditate on the word “hope” in 2019, it hasn’t always been easy. From the first day of August, this month had seemed to promise a lot to be hopeful about. A new job I had been prayerful about for months, the clean slate of a new semester after (somehow) crushing my summer sessions, & a few weeks of down time before heading full force into it all. Even when I became overwhelmed with stress & anxiety, I was as intentional as possible to change my mindset toward a life-giving perspective on whatever situation faced me.

Having hope in things unseen can be scary–I had to let go of that fear. Having hope can be unnerving–I had to be brave. Having hope meant that I had to trust God to take care of me no matter the outcome. And let me tell you: God completely & unexpectedly blew me away with His love & favor this month in more ways than I’ll even share right now. A simple decision to remain hopeful in the face of uncertainty allows God the opportunity to exceed our expectations & calm all of our fears in the process.

That’s what I did this August & I refuse to quit as the year continues.

“Now may God, the inspiration and fountain of hope, fill you to overflowing with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as you trust in him. And may the power of the Holy Spirit continually surround your life with his super-abundance until you radiate with hope!” Romans 15:13

Investments & Adventures: July

July was definitely a better month for me than June! This month I invested in obtaining peace with the past–something I’ve needed to work on the better part of my “adult” life but really thought a lot about the last few weeks. For July’s adventures: I went to South Carolina with my best friend Yajaunte who visited me over the 4th of July weekend from Colorado & I turned 21!

For me, the past can almost always be seen through rose colored glasses. It’s easy for me to look back on a time in my life & unintentionally see only the good in it, as opposed to some of the reasons why I was destined to get OUT of that season. For example, there was a time in my life a few years ago where I was completely out of God’s will–I nearly paid no mind to Him except to cry out when things got hard. No obedience or faithfulness. Instead of wallowing in melancholy & nostalgia, obtaining peace with the past has allowed me to find joy in remembering both the good & the bad memories, while understanding why God promoted me on to other things. The ways I did this varied from visiting special places from the past, to spending time with past important people in my life, to reading things I wrote at past times in my life and reflecting on how much I’ve grown. Even though I have a lot more peace to be gained from these kinds of practices, I know that July held a lot of healing for me and I’m grateful to God for stirring my heart to move into now-uncomfortable territories.

Yajaunte’s visit was the exact distraction I needed from the stress of summer classes (which I finished on Friday–time for a three week break!) We spent the 4th with my family & me showing her around Coastal VA a bit. Immediately the next morning we took a ~7 hour road trip to Charleston, SC and Wilmington, NC on the way back! She had never been to the east coast before, so it was a blast showing her my hometown and two of my favorite cities–including where I went to college. It’s already been hard being away from her again but I am positive our friendship will withstand the test of distance & time.

My birthday was spent with my amazing family who drove me around all day for obvious reasons 😉 It was great being home for my special day and doing many of the things I love: enjoying brunch, napping, hearing live music, walking on the beach. It was truly a great day and month both. I’ve got some exciting plans for August so I am looking forward to sharing next month!

Investments & Adventures: June

I feel as though this month has the potential to be the longest or the shortest monthly I&A blog. Seemingly overnight, everything I knew my life to be in a moment shifted to a familiarity of a life I’ve lived before, yet as someone entirely different than I was then.

My investment this month was in my ability to feel comfortable with, and content in change. I did not talk about it with anyone too much, but every day has been a struggle to accept the change of life’s seasons. The beginning of the month was filled with a countdown of days left in Colorado to do as many things that I had wanted to do, in a short amount of time. Balancing the anticipation of finals and the big move with trying to enjoy my last couple of weeks was difficult. Half of me wanted to embrace each moment I had left there, while the other half wanted to rip the band-aid off and settle into my new routine. Thanks to some amazing friends, I was able to find joy in the finality of a transformational season which I did not want to say goodbye to. But the goodbyes were said, and in the beginning it didn’t feel real. I’m now trying to completely accept the new swing of things: a drastic change in my surroundings (no more mountains serving as my compass), physical distance between me & the friends I’d made, school work consuming the vast majority of my free time, not having my own place, reminders everywhere of an era I wanted to forget– the list goes on. Accepting all of this change has taken its toll on me already, but I know God will continue to give me the strength to embrace it with grace.

My adventure of the month was the 1,800 mile road trip across the country with my dad! It started with a car-sized game of Tetris to fit everything I had left with us. Besides a case of lemonade and a too-tall hamper, we got most of it. We left immediately after I took my two finals for my first summer session of school, getting 500 miles under our belts and staying in Kansas. The second day was the longest, since we woke up early, hit the road, and continued until after sunset. After staying in Kentucky, we left early again the next day and made it home to Virginia by the afternoon. My sweet cat Abel was an ANGEL, much to our surprise. He barely made a peep the first two days. On the final stretch, he was clearly getting sick of being cooped up, but one pit stop did the trick to quiet him down for the final hour or so.

Overall, this month has forced me to change my perspective more than I’ve needed to in a while– but that’s a good thing. God has been calling out to me to lean more into Him as I begin a new chapter of my life, despite what feels like a spiritual attack I’ve been facing. But when that happens to any of us as Christians, we can trust that God is up to something bigger.

Investments & Adventures: May

Well this month most certainly did not go the way I expected. BUT, it went God’s way, and for that I could not be happier. May’s investment was in self care, and my adventure was packing my apartment up (actually, my dad doing so) in less than a week and preparing to move back across the country.

When May started, I decided to invest in self care because I knew grad school would be starting and taking over my life. I wasn’t exaggerating or overestimating whatsoever. This MBA program has truly taken over the majority of my time. I wake up before 5am almost every morning to get some schoolwork done before I go to work. Most days, I have to continue working on school stuff when I get home. I have off work one day per week to take my proctored exams and to focus just on school. I also devote Saturdays and Sundays for this, while still going to church and finding time to spend with friends. I easily spend about 30 hours per week on school stuff, but to be honest, I wouldn’t change a thing. My education has always been my priority and I don’t take the blessing of these opportunities for granted.

Due to all this going on, my first act of self care was buying a bunch of plants and outdoor seating for my balcony to create a cozy space for me to get away. Sadly this became futile since I ended up moving out of that apartment, but more on that soon. I had planned an amazing solo trip to Telluride that I ended up having to cancel due to school, the move, and a couple other factors. It was a tough decision for me to come to, but an invaluable lesson in sacrifice which I know God is leading me in.

So you’re probably wondering why I would be moving after all of the amazing things I’ve talked Colorado up to be. Believe me, they’re all true, but this month I learned that sometimes God has different plans for us than we had for ourselves, but trusting Him in them is a greater adventure than any we could come up with ourselves.

As I mentioned in last month’s I&A blog, going home for Easter was the hardest “exit” I’ve had since moving to Colorado, by far. For some reason, I felt differently than I ever had about the idea of moving back home. My heart felt so hesitant to leave my family behind again, but this time, having no idea how long it would be before I would see them all next. I talked about the possibility of moving back, as my lease would soon be up, but my immediate reaction was to stick to my guns of not letting there be a chance I would leave Colorado so soon. I had found a home here, truly started my “big girl” life here, and found a love for the outdoors that was waiting to be unleashed for longer than I realized. But, God was moving. God was leading. God was showing me He really knows what’s best for me.

My dad brought up the idea of moving again while on Facetime with me a few weeks after getting back to Colorado, visibly seeing the anxiety I had been bottling up since school had started. I had to figure out a way to not work full time anymore (since I knew I couldn’t also balance full time school) but still pay my bills, work hard enough to succeed in my classes but still keep my sanity, and find enough time to enjoy myself, friends, and family, but still balance all my other obligations. On that phone call I quickly realized that this would not be possible while staying in Colorado. My anxiety levels had not been this high since my worst days, and that was clear to my family members who know me better than anyone. Without having them close by to rely on for comfort & support during this stressful season of being in grad school, I knew I would soon reach my wit’s end. So after prayer, discussions with family, and a lot of self-reflection, I decided to move back to Virginia/North Carolina. My dad did not skip a beat before buying a plane ticket to Colorado to pack up my apartment for me (only two days later I might add) while I continued to work and do my schoolwork. He knew that after recovering from two hand surgeries to boot, I wouldn’t be able to manage packing up by myself so soon (even though I tried to convince him I could). Words can’t describe how grateful I am for all he’s done to make this move (and the last) possible for me.

As many of you know, my grandparents own the best breakfast restaurant in Chesapeake, VA. My grandma, the manager, has been in severe pain for years due to her knees. The surgeries she needs would put her out of the restaurant for months, so she put them off, worried about how the restaurant would stay afloat while she was out. Well, that’s where God had a plan all along. I’m literally going to school for Business and Hospitality Management– I don’t find it a coincidence that the exact place my family needs me is the same place where I can get more relevant, valuable work experience than I can right now here in Colorado. I’ll be able to manage my schoolwork so much easier with the opportunity to choose many of my own work hours (not to mention the restaurant is only open from 6am-2pm anyway) and still learn the ins and outs of running a business as I help my grandma out during her time away. I’ll also be able to save incredible amounts of money while I finish my degree, so that when I do, I’ll have the world open up to me again for whatever opportunities may come my way in my career.

Discerning what God wanted me to do in this situation was MUCH more difficult than when I knew He was calling me to Colorado. I was so conflicted because not one part of me would have ever thought of moving back to Virginia/North Carolina only a month before. Because of this, I knew it was only God who could have allowed my heart to change so drastically, so quickly. The peace I had with the decision was all I needed to know that this is how God had divinely arranged the timing of my life, my family’s lives, and each step I took along the way of getting here. I can’t wait to be able to spend time with my family again. Leaving the house a month after turning 17 for college was a decision I made with sacrifices in tact, and moving across the country a month before turning 20 included even more. But those decisions and sacrifices taught me so much about myself, about the nature of our God, and about how I want my will for my life to align perfectly with His. So here I am, taking another leap of faith, but one that takes me just one step closer to all that the Lord wants to do in and through my life.

Investments & Adventures: April

This month’s investments were all about family and preparation for a new season of life. At the beginning of the month I was admitted to the Master of Business Administration program at East Carolina University! While this will all be online, I realize how much work I’ll have to put in to balance working full-time, going to school full-time, and maintaining my social, recreational, and most importantly–spiritual life. Furthering my education into graduate school is something I’ve known I’ve wanted to do for quite a while, and God made it clear that now was the perfect time for me to start. I am so excited to pour my effort & energy into this new endeavor. I’ll be completing a graduate certificate through the MBA program in Hospitality Management, as that is the specific field I’m continuing to head into. I have a feeling that the Lord is trying to press the idea of being hospitable into my daily life on top of my career field, so I look forward to seeking opportunities to get the most out of that calling.

As an investment and also this month’s adventure, I was able to spend an entire week at home in Virginia with my family over Easter. I actually had hand surgery on the Friday before the holiday, and hopped on a plane a few hours later (don’t tell my doctor)! Not only was I able to enjoy service at the church that first set me on fire for God, but I also got to indulge in the best Easter dinner with loved ones.

The week that followed was so needed for my soul in many ways. I was able to pick my little brother up from school almost every day and spend time spoiling him with sweets, exploring parks, and sharing lots of love & laughter that I miss more than words can describe while living so far away from him. Missing some of his key childhood moments is easily one of the biggest sacrifices of choosing to move to Colorado, but that just makes our time together than much more meaningful & memorable to us both.

                                                       

Of course the time spent with the rest of my family was just as heartwarming. My dad & I anxiously planned our upcoming summer National Park trip, my mom & I got the matching tattoos we’ve been wanting for years, my grandma taught me how to make traditional Filipino foods (lumpia & adobo), and the whole family was able to get together multiple times for dinner. Even a relaxing spa day with my grandma, mom, and aunt Krissie, and a whole day with my best friend Rachel was able to be fit in during the trip! I realized during this visit how much my family means to me than ever before in many ways, and that made it harder to leave than it has yet.

                       

As I sit writing this on the plane back to Colorado, I can’t help but thank God for how he’s moving in my life. I may have cried a gallon of tears leaving everyone, but He reminded me that He has purposefully led me to where I am now for my good & His glory, which makes every sacrifice I’ve had to make worth it.