Make Time for Your Maker

Here we go again, another blog post I was prompted to write a bit ago but wasn’t sure how. I’m learning that you have to live out what you’re sharing, then just go for it when you’re ready to write.

While having a faith conversation with a friend about spending time with God (particularly through church), I felt Him tell me that I needed to “practice what I preach,” if you will. While I’ll humbly say that I know I put a fair amount time into my relationship with God if I’m comparing myself to some other people, I realized in that moment that I wasn’t putting as much time into it when I compared myself, with myself.

When I first went all in for Jesus in 2017, I was in a place of brokenness where I didn’t know how I would survive the day without spending every waking moment dwelling with the Spirit. It seemed as though I was in prayer each minute I wasn’t spending talking to someone, and nearly every activity I did was in attempt to draw closer to Him. I remember waking up at dark-thirty every morning to watch the sunrise on the beach before classes as my quiet time (sidebar: remembering this is one of the only things that makes me wish I still lived at the beach instead!). Every day I would pray the same thing (amongst others of course): Lord, please set me on fire for You. And man, that prayer has been being continually answered daily since then.

I also remember a distinct prayer I often repeated as well: Lord, please forgive me for the times in my life where I am more distant from you than I am now–because we both know those days will come. I find myself thinking about this often, which would be good and well if I took each of those thoughts and turned them into a fix for the problem. Sometimes it’s easier to forget about God when we think we need Him less–when our pain begins to subside, when our circumstances start to change for the better, or when we become more confident in who HE is transforming us into. Since that moment in conversation with my friend, I knew I needed to be more intentional with my relationship with Jesus because He is so intentional with me.

I honestly couldn’t be happier that I’m making more time for my Maker again. I can feel the difference in my day to day wanderings in physical presence and thoughts alike. As I’ve opened my eyes, ears, and heart to recognize how He’s moving, I’ve seen my specific prayers answered in insane ways I could’ve never came up with on my own. The best part is that I know He will continue to move in this way as He responds to bigger and bolder prayers throughout my life.

I want to share a few practical tips for how we can spend more time with Jesus, even when we feel our schedule is just too busy and overwhelming for much more. Disclaimer: none or even all of this could be a substitute for complete quiet & alone time with God in prayer, attending church, or serving in any capacity. More-so, they are suggestions for how to turn your everyday tasks into opportunities to spend time with the Spirit.

• Talk to God, out loud, in your car or shower. There is something so powerful about speaking to Him outside of our heads and being bold enough to hear our own cries to Him–or letting others see you cry in the car when it gets that good! You have to do these things anyway, so you might as well use them to connect with God. Turn on some worship music too if you’re into that, to help position your heart toward Him.
• Go on prayer walks. This is personally my favorite way to experience quiet time and has proven to be incredibly impactful in my life. Sometimes I’ll do it around my apartment and pray out loud, non-stop for about 30 minutes while walking back and forth between rooms. Other times, I’ll go on a neighborhood walk or hike while listening to worship music and just being quiet for a while to let Him speak to me. Anddd, you can get your steps and exercise in this way at the same time!
• Pick a verse of the day/week to dwell on in your in-between moments. This could be the verse of the day on YouVersion (an awesome Bible resource!) or you can search for one based on your current situation. Try to memorize this verse and find ways to apply it to what you’re experiencing. While it’s important to spend as much time as possible in the Word, this is a great way to be encouraged while you’re stressed or overwhelmed, by simply taking breaks during your day to remember God’s promises.
• Find ways to speak to (or ask) others about Jesus in your day-to-day. Whether it be in the lunch room at work or on your usual phone call to your parents/kids/friend, figure out you can encourage them or how they can encourage you. If you have a friend who you know loves Jesus and you just want to know more, casually ask them about the church they go to. Ask your loved one how you can be praying for them before you hang up the phone. You’ll be surprised how God will respond when you are incorporating Him in your daily interactions with others.
• Pray until you fall asleep! So many times I’ve gone through a mental list of people/things to pray about and woken up the next morning realizing I didn’t get to finish. And that’s okay! I was able to spend my last moments of the day talking to God and that sets me up perfectly for remembering Him first thing in the morning.

These are just a few simple ways we can try to spend a little more time with the Lord amidst our busyness. God wants to spend every single minute of your life with you, but we can’t experience the effects of this unless we let Him. I would love to hear any suggestions others may have on how they choose to make more time for their Maker! If you’ve read this and struggle with how to spend time with God, or even trying to find the desire to, PLEASE reach out to me. So many people miss an opportunity to transform their life in this way, and while I’m striving to get better every day, it would be great to help encourage someone else in this area too.

“Move your heart closer and closer to God, and He will come even closer to you. But make sure you cleanse your life, you sinners, and keep your heart pure and stop doubting.” James 4:8

Pray like it depends on God, and…

For as long as I can remember, starting in childhood, I’ve struggled with anxiety in a number of different capacities. As I got a little older throughout middle and high school, depression started to creep in alongside of the anxiety. I spent years going to therapy and taking numerous medications to try and combat what I had been dealing with. Both definitely helped. By the time I got to college I had stopped going to therapy and eventually got off of all the antidepressants I had been on. And while I’m confident that I am in a world of a better place now than I was then, I’ve accepted that those things will never really go away entirely.

Anxiety is something that I face on a near daily basis. I’ve found many helpful ways to cope, but the panic attacks still present themselves on occasion. Depression on the other hand, has almost been a non-issue for a while now. While life events can cause seasons of sadness, I have grown to easily distinguish the difference between normal feelings of being down and the depression I used to feel every day. While I had hoped that living in Colorado would help keep my happiness up throughout fall and winter, this past week has reminded me of a bitter friend of mine: seasonal depression. It’s almost like I woke up one morning and felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks that felt all too familiar. I suddenly began to feel every non-desirable emotion, every day, for no explainable reason.

Once I accepted that these feelings of depression were not okay for me to continue dealing with, I was determined to make a change from what I usually do when this happens. In the past, I’ve just let the feelings fester until something just changed on its own. But this year, I’m making the conscious decision each day to dwell in God’s presence instead. To be honest, it’s not always easy and it’s not always fun. I sometimes have to force myself to listen to uplifting music instead of sad music that will only make me feel worse. I have to choose to keep spending time in the Word instead of wasting my time away with TV, social media, or whatever else can be a distraction from what God is trying to say to me or do in my life.

My grandpa recently sent me a care package that included a book I’d been wanting to read for quite some time: The Circle Maker. I am absolutely certain that God got my hands on that book exactly when I needed it. I read fairly regularly, but with this book I spent almost all of my free minutes working my way through it. Because of it, I’ve been praying more than I have in a long time. While other spiritual disciplines are not typically a problem for me, like reading my Bible and going to church, I find myself often forgetting to pray when I truly need it. I just allow myself to wallow in my negative feelings and hope that God will pull me out of the pit. But after finishing this book, I got one key principle for me to focus on: pray like it depends on God, and work like it depends on you. 

This was exactly what I needed to hear throughout this time of year for me, and author Mark Batterson made it easy by repeating that line many times throughout the book! I so often succumb to my feelings of despair because it’s easier than trying to do something about them to feel better. But that is not what the Lord has called me to do. I have to make the daily decision to trust His sovereignty and put in the effort on my side of things to help Him, help me get to where I want to be.

I remember during my worst times of depression in school, I was unhappy with where I lived. I felt like I didn’t belong, like I was meant for more than my small town, and that frustrated me. I probably prayed 100 prayers asking God to get me out of that place–both physically and mentally. Now here I am, living in one of the most gorgeous places out there, feeling like this is where I was meant to be all along. And it’s all because God brought me here, honoring the work I put in along the way to get my education and advance myself through my career. He numbered my every step until they led me right to Colorado, right when I was supposed to be here. He has proved faithful to get me through 100% of the hard times I’ve faced so far, and He will continue to do that for the rest of my life when I’m willing to put Him first in my life above all the noise.

So while the cold weather seasons may be a tougher time for me (and I’m sure many of you), I trust that God will bring me back to a place of joy when I’m constantly seeking Him in prayer even when I don’t feel like it. I guarantee He will do the same for you.

P.S. Read the Circle Maker by Mark Batterson!! It was truly life-changing for me and I’m believing the same for anyone else struggling with feeling distant from God.

P.P.S. I drafted this post a couple of days ago, then this morning I watched my home church’s latest message online. It was about our value of “Pray First,” in which our pastor mentioned the same exact saying that was repeated throughout the book! Only God.

How I Got Where I’m Going

When I first decided to accept the internship offer for the Military Extension Internship Program, I was bursting at the seams to share how God intervened in the most incredible way. Now that I finally have my blog “up & running,” I’d love to tell a little bit of how I got where I’m going.

For my university, I’m required to complete an internship to finish my degree in Recreation, Sport Leadership, and Tourism Management. This meant that I would be spending weeks on weeks wondering where I would accomplish this, & hours on hours applying to 20+ internship and job opportunities across the country. I made a spreadsheet to keep track of all of the applications I sent out, when I was supposed to hear back from each of them, and where they were located. For quite some time I had imagined myself moving to Colorado for the internship, so despite the circumstances I decided to find & apply to as many places there as I could. Amongst a few other interviews from different states, I had two Skype interviews for city recreation internships in the ski towns of Colorado. The first ended up being a hit & miss, as I wasn’t offered the position. I remember being disappointed, but not too discouraged, as I had the second opportunity to still hear back from. Between this time I was also waiting to hear back from a few other places that not only weren’t in my list of top destinations, but also didn’t quite match my career goals. There were many moments where I broke down before God asking for discernment about where He might be calling me, as I vowed to go wherever He would send me, even if I did not want to. I reached out to different people many times for prayer during this situation because I had never felt so directionless & in need of clarity. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that season of utter confusion, worry, but also exhilaration of not knowing where on Earth I would be just a few months later.

I nervously pushed off a couple of internship opportunities as I waited to hear back from the second Colorado ski town, which I considered my “first choice” at the time amongst the internships I had interviewed with. The date for informing us about the decision got pushed back multiple times, so you can imagine the anxiety that continued to arise during that particular week. Finally I was told that I would receive notice one way or another on March 13th, so that Tuesday morning I drove to the beach for sunrise (pictured above!) coming before the Lord for peace and comfort no matter what the decision would be. I went to school afterward like any normal day & tried to maintain my cool as I stared at my phone waiting for a congratulations call, or a “we’re sorry” email. What I got that morning was something totally different.

I was working on a group project in an empty classroom when I got the email. Not from the ski town, but from the coordinator of the Military Extension Internship Program. I had applied to this program back in January, and was told to expect calls for interviews at a time which had already passed–therefore, I assumed I was no longer a candidate being considered since I had not heard anything. Regardless & sure enough, there in my inbox was the email saying I had been selected to be an intern for the Air Force at Peterson AFB, CO. While we could list our preferences on the application, we were not guaranteed placement at any particular base. But God poured His endless favor upon me & blessed me with the chance to go to my number one location of Colorado. I genuinely was in disbelief, yet had the most overwhelming sense of stillness in my heart knowing this was exactly where the Lord wanted me to be. I spent the fall months prior doing some soul-searching about what I wanted to do with my career and how I wanted to serve others. After this course of time I began seeing how God was amplifying my passion & appreciation for the military community, so I sought out internship opportunities which related to this. The MEIP was the only one I found which would fit my needs, so when I hadn’t heard back I thought maybe I had somehow heard God wrong, or maybe He was just having me wait. So when I received this opportunity, at a particular time where I was waiting for a completely different outcome, not to mention in the place where I wanted to move to so badly, I had never felt so sure of a decision before–and I’m the worst at making decisions! The Lord gave me the peace to be so confident in this decision that I immediately quit everything I was doing and sent back the agreement papers accepting the position before I had even heard back from the ski town internship. Believe it or not, later in the day I got the call that I was in fact being offered that position with their city recreation department. If I had received the MEIP email just a day or even several hours later, I would have ended up with the other internship instead since I thought that was what was best for me. But God in all his perfect timing and provision had a better plan for me. While turning it down was not easy after having spent weeks praying for what I thought was the right opportunity for me, I haven’t looked back since because I know where I am now is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Two and a half months later I’m sitting in my hotel nearing the end of my internship orientation in Arlington, VA where I got to meet my mentor from Peterson AFB, interact with the other interns placed around the country, and learn more about what this program will entail. I fly back home tomorrow night and will be leaving for my road trip to Colorado with my dad at dark-thirty the next morning. I’ll be moving into an apartment with one of my best friends who so courageously decided to take this journey out west with me, with the support of an entire community in Virginia and North Carolina behind me cheering me on no matter how far I may be. Albeit lengthy, I hope this snapshot of my story encourages at least one person to continue trusting in the Lord in your pursuit of His will, because you just might find yourself somewhere more beautiful than your wildest dreams.

Colorado, I’m coming for you!