Investments & Adventures: April

This month’s investments were all about family and preparation for a new season of life. At the beginning of the month I was admitted to the Master of Business Administration program at East Carolina University! While this will all be online, I realize how much work I’ll have to put in to balance working full-time, going to school full-time, and maintaining my social, recreational, and most importantly–spiritual life. Furthering my education into graduate school is something I’ve known I’ve wanted to do for quite a while, and God made it clear that now was the perfect time for me to start. I am so excited to pour my effort & energy into this new endeavor. I’ll be completing a graduate certificate through the MBA program in Hospitality Management, as that is the specific field I’m continuing to head into. I have a feeling that the Lord is trying to press the idea of being hospitable into my daily life on top of my career field, so I look forward to seeking opportunities to get the most out of that calling.

As an investment and also this month’s adventure, I was able to spend an entire week at home in Virginia with my family over Easter. I actually had hand surgery on the Friday before the holiday, and hopped on a plane a few hours later (don’t tell my doctor)! Not only was I able to enjoy service at the church that first set me on fire for God, but I also got to indulge in the best Easter dinner with loved ones.

The week that followed was so needed for my soul in many ways. I was able to pick my little brother up from school almost every day and spend time spoiling him with sweets, exploring parks, and sharing lots of love & laughter that I miss more than words can describe while living so far away from him. Missing some of his key childhood moments is easily one of the biggest sacrifices of choosing to move to Colorado, but that just makes our time together than much more meaningful & memorable to us both.

                                                       

Of course the time spent with the rest of my family was just as heartwarming. My dad & I anxiously planned our upcoming summer National Park trip, my mom & I got the matching tattoos we’ve been wanting for years, my grandma taught me how to make traditional Filipino foods (lumpia & adobo), and the whole family was able to get together multiple times for dinner. Even a relaxing spa day with my grandma, mom, and aunt Krissie, and a whole day with my best friend Rachel was able to be fit in during the trip! I realized during this visit how much my family means to me than ever before in many ways, and that made it harder to leave than it has yet.

                       

As I sit writing this on the plane back to Colorado, I can’t help but thank God for how he’s moving in my life. I may have cried a gallon of tears leaving everyone, but He reminded me that He has purposefully led me to where I am now for my good & His glory, which makes every sacrifice I’ve had to make worth it.

 

Make Time for Your Maker

Here we go again, another blog post I was prompted to write a bit ago but wasn’t sure how. I’m learning that you have to live out what you’re sharing, then just go for it when you’re ready to write.

While having a faith conversation with a friend about spending time with God (particularly through church), I felt Him tell me that I needed to “practice what I preach,” if you will. While I’ll humbly say that I know I put a fair amount time into my relationship with God if I’m comparing myself to some other people, I realized in that moment that I wasn’t putting as much time into it when I compared myself, with myself.

When I first went all in for Jesus in 2017, I was in a place of brokenness where I didn’t know how I would survive the day without spending every waking moment dwelling with the Spirit. It seemed as though I was in prayer each minute I wasn’t spending talking to someone, and nearly every activity I did was in attempt to draw closer to Him. I remember waking up at dark-thirty every morning to watch the sunrise on the beach before classes as my quiet time (sidebar: remembering this is one of the only things that makes me wish I still lived at the beach instead!). Every day I would pray the same thing (amongst others of course): Lord, please set me on fire for You. And man, that prayer has been being continually answered daily since then.

I also remember a distinct prayer I often repeated as well: Lord, please forgive me for the times in my life where I am more distant from you than I am now–because we both know those days will come. I find myself thinking about this often, which would be good and well if I took each of those thoughts and turned them into a fix for the problem. Sometimes it’s easier to forget about God when we think we need Him less–when our pain begins to subside, when our circumstances start to change for the better, or when we become more confident in who HE is transforming us into. Since that moment in conversation with my friend, I knew I needed to be more intentional with my relationship with Jesus because He is so intentional with me.

I honestly couldn’t be happier that I’m making more time for my Maker again. I can feel the difference in my day to day wanderings in physical presence and thoughts alike. As I’ve opened my eyes, ears, and heart to recognize how He’s moving, I’ve seen my specific prayers answered in insane ways I could’ve never came up with on my own. The best part is that I know He will continue to move in this way as He responds to bigger and bolder prayers throughout my life.

I want to share a few practical tips for how we can spend more time with Jesus, even when we feel our schedule is just too busy and overwhelming for much more. Disclaimer: none or even all of this could be a substitute for complete quiet & alone time with God in prayer, attending church, or serving in any capacity. More-so, they are suggestions for how to turn your everyday tasks into opportunities to spend time with the Spirit.

• Talk to God, out loud, in your car or shower. There is something so powerful about speaking to Him outside of our heads and being bold enough to hear our own cries to Him–or letting others see you cry in the car when it gets that good! You have to do these things anyway, so you might as well use them to connect with God. Turn on some worship music too if you’re into that, to help position your heart toward Him.
• Go on prayer walks. This is personally my favorite way to experience quiet time and has proven to be incredibly impactful in my life. Sometimes I’ll do it around my apartment and pray out loud, non-stop for about 30 minutes while walking back and forth between rooms. Other times, I’ll go on a neighborhood walk or hike while listening to worship music and just being quiet for a while to let Him speak to me. Anddd, you can get your steps and exercise in this way at the same time!
• Pick a verse of the day/week to dwell on in your in-between moments. This could be the verse of the day on YouVersion (an awesome Bible resource!) or you can search for one based on your current situation. Try to memorize this verse and find ways to apply it to what you’re experiencing. While it’s important to spend as much time as possible in the Word, this is a great way to be encouraged while you’re stressed or overwhelmed, by simply taking breaks during your day to remember God’s promises.
• Find ways to speak to (or ask) others about Jesus in your day-to-day. Whether it be in the lunch room at work or on your usual phone call to your parents/kids/friend, figure out you can encourage them or how they can encourage you. If you have a friend who you know loves Jesus and you just want to know more, casually ask them about the church they go to. Ask your loved one how you can be praying for them before you hang up the phone. You’ll be surprised how God will respond when you are incorporating Him in your daily interactions with others.
• Pray until you fall asleep! So many times I’ve gone through a mental list of people/things to pray about and woken up the next morning realizing I didn’t get to finish. And that’s okay! I was able to spend my last moments of the day talking to God and that sets me up perfectly for remembering Him first thing in the morning.

These are just a few simple ways we can try to spend a little more time with the Lord amidst our busyness. God wants to spend every single minute of your life with you, but we can’t experience the effects of this unless we let Him. I would love to hear any suggestions others may have on how they choose to make more time for their Maker! If you’ve read this and struggle with how to spend time with God, or even trying to find the desire to, PLEASE reach out to me. So many people miss an opportunity to transform their life in this way, and while I’m striving to get better every day, it would be great to help encourage someone else in this area too.

“Move your heart closer and closer to God, and He will come even closer to you. But make sure you cleanse your life, you sinners, and keep your heart pure and stop doubting.” James 4:8

Chosen, Not Rejected

This is my second time sitting down to write this post after at least a month of knowing it needed to be written. I’ve recently recognized a heart issue I have: rejection. Not being (or rather, feeling) chosen. Somebody else getting what I wanted. Again. This rejection I’ve felt has come from friends, men (shocker), job situations, and even family members. It’s a heart issue that I didn’t want to admit I had for quite a long time. I stopped writing this the first time because it felt too difficult. I didn’t want to think about all of the ways I’ve felt this rejection, this feeling of being unwanted. I didn’t know if I could muster the right words to actually encourage someone in this area when in reality, I struggle with it more than I probably even realize. But of course, as soon as I closed my laptop and walked away, a perfect example of those feelings entered my day and left me feeling rejected. In that moment, God whispered to me to start again. He knew I needed to write this post for myself as much as someone else needs to read these words.

Does this issue of rejection sound familiar to you? Watching someone choose something or someone else over you, or watching an opportunity you prayed for pass you by? I’m sure all of us have experienced this at one point or another. Once I realized this is a daily struggle of mine, I knew I needed to actively pursue a path to freedom from these feelings. A few weeks ago I found something out which made me feel the ultimate rejection of not being good enough, not being wanted, and not being chosen. That night, God spoke a word into my heart that I’ve echoed to myself daily since then: “I chose you before your existence and I still choose you every day.”

In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of sorrow and guilt for having put so much value into the opinions of man when the only acceptance I’ve ever needed from anyone, I’ve had since the beginning of time. I’m here to tell somebody something today.

You’ve spent too much time thinking about why that opportunity didn’t pan out. 

You’ve wasted too much of your precious energy getting angry at people for leaving you out and forgetting about you.

You’ve occupied too many days wondering what you could have done better to earn the acceptance of someone who never should have gotten that much control over your heart in the first place.

Even as I continue writing this, thoughts of rejection keep filling my mind. The times where I wasn’t chosen by someone else still creep in. I can’t help but think of when I’ve been forgotten, left out, or abandoned. It’s a continuous battle to put the words of the Lord at the forefront of our minds and let them sing louder than those of any other person. But when we learn to, His voice becomes a comfort stronger than the fuzziest blanket or best home-cooked meal you’ve ever had.

Jesus will never forget about you.

Jesus will never leave you.

Jesus will never abandon you.

He only wants to remind you that you are chosen, not rejected, and He wants to keep choosing you every single day. Forever.

“Even before the world was made, God had already chosen us to be his through our union with Christ, so that we would be holy and without fault before him. Because of his love God had already decided that through Jesus Christ he would make us his children–this was his pleasure and purpose.” Ephesians 1:4-5

Word of the Year: 2018 to 2019

Although my “word of the year” didn’t come to me until about April, it was clear that the Lord was leading me to embrace the word BOLD for the rest of 2018. That challenge for this year was immensely thrilling, albeit challenging for me.

2018 was a huge year both professionally & personally. I:

• Finished all my classes at UNCW (a year earlier than planned)
• Moved to Colorado (best state ever)
• Graduated with my Bachelor’s degree after a 3 month internship (REC kid forever)
• Got full-time employment with the US Air Force civilian service (great gig)
• Learned to be alone, but not lonely (this was important)
• Read the entire Bible (or will have come December 31st)
• Spent every day in relationship with God and not a man (He knew I needed this)

God stretched my faith this year more than I could’ve even imagined. I started 2018 on a trip in Phoenix, Arizona and I can distinctly remember my emotions at that time. I had not a sliver of a clue about where I would be or what I would be doing by the end of the year, but man am I glad that God left some things unknown. My grandparents prayed blessings over my future at the Prayer Pavilion of Light in an ethereal moment and throughout 2018 I watched that prayer come to fruition on a daily basis. I was bold in the decisions I made, all of which led me exactly where I needed to be, no matter how intimidating they might have been in the beginning. Whenever I could, I’d be bold in my interactions with others and I found that it would always lead to greater glory to God.

While I’ll continue to be as intentionally bold as possible throughout my entire life, I already feel the Lord pressing a new word into my heart for 2019. HOPE. It’s been nonchalantly mentioned to me by friends & family over the last couple of months, each time a gentle nudge from God telling me to hold onto it with everything I have.

This year I hoped more than I knew I was capable of with a faith I developed more each day. I had high hopes for where my internship would take me and where I might live, and that hope took me straight where I wanted to be. I hoped for healing that I would receive over many long, slow months. I hoped for things that almost happened, but ended up leaving me disappointed. I hoped for things that never happened at all.

In those not-so-happy times, I would become overwhelmed with feelings of naivety and stupidity for having “gotten my hopes up too high” about things that didn’t end up going as hoped for. There are few things I hate more than feeling that way, especially in front of people whose influence on my life mean a lot to me. But once I convince myself to move past my concern with how other people perceive me or my circumstances, I can refocus on how God sees me and my circumstances. I can begin to hear His voice again, reminding me that it’s okay to have hope. Even when it seems overly-optimistic to other people, God says “I can work with that.”

Through all of that, what I’ve learned above all is that hope in the Lord is far greater than human hope of one’s own accord. They really don’t even compare to one another. Hope in the Lord is hope that prevails even when we don’t get what we want, because we trust that God is sovereign over our lives with His own plan and His perfect timing. This year I’ve grown to be proud of myself for having hope when it seems like maybe I shouldn’t. So going into 2019, I’m going to continue to hope in the things unseen. To hope in the things I have yet to receive. And to hope in all that is to come in this new year, because I know that BOLD HOPE in the Lord will never disappoint (even when humans & circumstances do). Hold on to your hope this year.

Pray like it depends on God, and…

For as long as I can remember, starting in childhood, I’ve struggled with anxiety in a number of different capacities. As I got a little older throughout middle and high school, depression started to creep in alongside of the anxiety. I spent years going to therapy and taking numerous medications to try and combat what I had been dealing with. Both definitely helped. By the time I got to college I had stopped going to therapy and eventually got off of all the antidepressants I had been on. And while I’m confident that I am in a world of a better place now than I was then, I’ve accepted that those things will never really go away entirely.

Anxiety is something that I face on a near daily basis. I’ve found many helpful ways to cope, but the panic attacks still present themselves on occasion. Depression on the other hand, has almost been a non-issue for a while now. While life events can cause seasons of sadness, I have grown to easily distinguish the difference between normal feelings of being down and the depression I used to feel every day. While I had hoped that living in Colorado would help keep my happiness up throughout fall and winter, this past week has reminded me of a bitter friend of mine: seasonal depression. It’s almost like I woke up one morning and felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks that felt all too familiar. I suddenly began to feel every non-desirable emotion, every day, for no explainable reason.

Once I accepted that these feelings of depression were not okay for me to continue dealing with, I was determined to make a change from what I usually do when this happens. In the past, I’ve just let the feelings fester until something just changed on its own. But this year, I’m making the conscious decision each day to dwell in God’s presence instead. To be honest, it’s not always easy and it’s not always fun. I sometimes have to force myself to listen to uplifting music instead of sad music that will only make me feel worse. I have to choose to keep spending time in the Word instead of wasting my time away with TV, social media, or whatever else can be a distraction from what God is trying to say to me or do in my life.

My grandpa recently sent me a care package that included a book I’d been wanting to read for quite some time: The Circle Maker. I am absolutely certain that God got my hands on that book exactly when I needed it. I read fairly regularly, but with this book I spent almost all of my free minutes working my way through it. Because of it, I’ve been praying more than I have in a long time. While other spiritual disciplines are not typically a problem for me, like reading my Bible and going to church, I find myself often forgetting to pray when I truly need it. I just allow myself to wallow in my negative feelings and hope that God will pull me out of the pit. But after finishing this book, I got one key principle for me to focus on: pray like it depends on God, and work like it depends on you. 

This was exactly what I needed to hear throughout this time of year for me, and author Mark Batterson made it easy by repeating that line many times throughout the book! I so often succumb to my feelings of despair because it’s easier than trying to do something about them to feel better. But that is not what the Lord has called me to do. I have to make the daily decision to trust His sovereignty and put in the effort on my side of things to help Him, help me get to where I want to be.

I remember during my worst times of depression in school, I was unhappy with where I lived. I felt like I didn’t belong, like I was meant for more than my small town, and that frustrated me. I probably prayed 100 prayers asking God to get me out of that place–both physically and mentally. Now here I am, living in one of the most gorgeous places out there, feeling like this is where I was meant to be all along. And it’s all because God brought me here, honoring the work I put in along the way to get my education and advance myself through my career. He numbered my every step until they led me right to Colorado, right when I was supposed to be here. He has proved faithful to get me through 100% of the hard times I’ve faced so far, and He will continue to do that for the rest of my life when I’m willing to put Him first in my life above all the noise.

So while the cold weather seasons may be a tougher time for me (and I’m sure many of you), I trust that God will bring me back to a place of joy when I’m constantly seeking Him in prayer even when I don’t feel like it. I guarantee He will do the same for you.

P.S. Read the Circle Maker by Mark Batterson!! It was truly life-changing for me and I’m believing the same for anyone else struggling with feeling distant from God.

P.P.S. I drafted this post a couple of days ago, then this morning I watched my home church’s latest message online. It was about our value of “Pray First,” in which our pastor mentioned the same exact saying that was repeated throughout the book! Only God.

Not Afraid to Fall

Fall has never really been my season. Not because I don’t like it–believe me, I could not be more excited for sweater weather, the changing of leaves to my favorite colors, or the holiday festivities. Bad things just tend to happen to me during this time of year.

For the past three years, I’ve had some pretty dramatic life events take place in the September/October time frame. Cliff notes of Fall ’15, ’16, & ’17: I got myself into some trouble, totalled my car, & had a highly adored relationship end. Because of these things, I’ve had some trouble getting into the autumn spirit this year. To be perfectly honest, I’m terrified that something negative will happen again. As great of a place as I’m in now that I live in Colorado, I can’t help but feel like I’ll have to come down from the high at some point, & that naturally it’ll happen in the pattern that it has been.

I used to be a pessimistic realist. I would have a grounded view on what could happen, but with expectations of the worst. However recently I’ve been slowly transforming into an optimistic realist. I figure out possible outcomes, prayerful for the desires of my heart with faith that God’s will is sovereign over my plans anyway.  But now that fall is here again, I’m struggling to maintain that mindset. Ever since I found out I was moving to Colorado, an answered prayer to be placed somewhere that feels so authentically like home, my testimony began to evolve. I could have been called to move essentially anywhere, but God chose to bring me to a place where I’ve become more fulfilled in him and happier with myself than I ever have been. But of course, this didn’t mean that I would magically become perfectly content in every area of life.

In the time since I’ve fully settled in, I’ve been dealing with some heart issues. Haven’t we all? Whether it be bitterness, rejection, or resentment (a few of mine), anger, unforgiveness, or guilt, these things affect the way we perceive our circumstances. Thankfully, I’m wildly aware of those emotions and how they’re affecting my daily life. I talk to God about them all the time, & do my best to work on improving, but it’s never easy. In the thick of summertime, it was much simpler for me to ignore the parts of life which had me feeling that way. However with the change of seasons, this year in particular is coming with many changes in my personal life. Pair that with my history of ill-fated autumns & it’s a recipe for worry about the months to come.

Lately I’ve been running out of my positive momentum, and it’s been easy for me to feel like the good has run out on me. To feel like God’s giving everyone what they want except for me. I often neglect to remember how far I’ve come or how much I’ve been given because of the emotions that cloud my vision. I wrongly choose to focus on my losses instead of my gains. I fear that my waiting seasons will last much longer than I hope for & the inconveniences in my life will be much worse than I plan for. I only see what other people have that I don’t, instead of realizing that I have everything I could possibly need.

As I enter into my jinxed time of year, I’m struggling to maintain the optimism that I take pride in. What if my circumstances don’t take a turn for the better? What if I have to go through another loss this fall? It’s during these times of questioning that I have to remind myself of a powerful truth: despite any circumstances, I have everything I need in Christ. It doesn’t matter what this season holds for me, because there is nothing I can’t face when I put my trust in the one who holds the universe in his hands. I will choose to see the remainder of this year as an opportunity for growth, self-improvement, and contentment. Whether something unexpectedly wonderful happens, or the “trend” of events continues, I will see it as God teaching me to make the most of exactly where he has me, when he has me there.

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

Ever take a weekend for yourself?

That’s exactly what I did these past couple of days. And man, was it good for me! I hadn’t been feeling my best in the couple of weeks prior so I knew I wanted to take some time alone doing something I love, to refresh & renew. And while I did, I was able to feel God’s presence stronger than I have in quite a long time! It was just what I needed.

Earlier in the week I hopped on Airbnb to look for affordable options for a one night stay somewhere not too far from me. After researching some nearby cities and talking to people who’ve lived here in Colorado much longer than I have, I decided to take a visit to Leadville: the highest incorporated city in North America! I found cheaper lodging in Salida, another beautiful city only an hour or so south of Leadville, and drove there after work on Friday. The views on the way there were indescribable, and pictures could never do them justice. I blasted my favorite music with the windows down, which of course is the only way to road trip! After arriving to the Airbnb, I realized that I could not have found a better place to stay. It was a little off-the-grid type cabin with all around views of the mountains. It was stunning; there I was able to spend time praying & reading my Bible in a new setting, which gave me a fresh appreciation for my daily quiet time. The next morning I woke up early and headed north!

I started with a nice breakfast at a little cafe in Buena Vista, then went straight to the trailhead for the hike I planned to do. It was the most perfect day for a hike and even with altitude ranging from about 10,000-11,000ft, I managed to make it to the lake & back within a couple of hours. I then took some time to explore the city, visiting some of the shops & local hangouts. When it came time to head home, I decided to take the scenic route through the mountainous cities of Breckenridge and Frisco since I had yet to see that part of the state. I made it back in time for Saturday night service at church, which was the best way to end my retreat of serenity & renewal.

I encourage everyone reading this to make this kind of time for yourself! Maybe you’re not the kind of person to spend a night somewhere unfamiliar by yourself, but at least spend a day doing something you enjoy (and having some good food in the process!) with no distractions from social media, work, or whatever gets you hung up sometimes. I’m absolutely going to prioritize doing this every couple of months now because the effects are priceless.

For your good & His glory

In the more recent months, I’ve learned more about myself than the years of my life prior, combined. This includes becoming aware of some personal characteristics (but actually, challenges) of mine, a couple of which have seemed to become more noticeable to me amongst all of the life changes I’ve had lately. For some reason by what I know was the prompting of the Holy Spirit, today I felt compelled to share a bit about these struggles to hopefully create some encouragement from them. For whomever might read this post, but probably more importantly, for myself as I’ve grown increasingly discouraged by the way they’ve affected my life.

As a prelude to the more specific characteristics, you must understand that I’m an exceptionally emotional person. While any of my closest friends or family could tell you that, only God really knows what I mean when I say this because it is easily what I would consider the primary descriptor of my personality. Because of this, I tend to get my hopes up very easily at the slightest possibility of a positive or desirable circumstance. This is my first challenge. I get extremely excited about things, even if nothing is guaranteed, because I’ve become a way more positive person than I ever used to be. But then sometimes– life happens. Things end up differently than I expected. It’s at this point where the next challenge comes in: I feel stupid and embarrassed about the expectations I had set, things I had said to other people with higher hopes than I should’ve had, and the level of disappointment I subsequently begin to feel. I’ve struggled with anxiety for the majority of my life (a story for another day) and I’ve learned that changed plans and the most minor of disappointments are a couple of the worst triggers of that for me. Whenever these feelings of disappointment, anxiety, or embarrassment set in, I simply tell myself that I’m never going to get my hopes up again because all I ever do is get let down.

Yeah, because that’s the right attitude to have. This is one of my greatest challenges, to accept when things don’t go my way, with grace. Because often life just doesn’t go the way we expected it would. Sometimes people let us down, hurt our feelings, or turn out to be different than we’d hoped. Sometimes God tells us “not yet,” and we have to wait a little longer for the object of our desire. It’s at these times where I need to remind myself that it’s okay for me to be upset about things, and I should never be ashamed of feeling that way. If God cares enough to number and name each of the stars (Psalm 147:4), shouldn’t I know that He cares about what’s disappointed me?

Our God cares about all the minute details of our lives. He sees me when I’m crying without even understanding why. He sees me while I wait for what my heart so badly longs for. He sees me when I’m disappointed over what others might say is something insignificant or unworthy. And the best part? He doesn’t judge me for a second. I can put my faith in Him to deliver me through whatever size trial is phasing me, just as I’ve seen Him do time after time in my life and the lives of others. Sometimes the trial for me is as small as being excited to go somewhere one evening, then plans being changed at the last minute. Other times it’s bigger, like going many months hoping for something I’m not even sure will ever happen. Whatever your trial is, just know that the Lord sees your pain, and He is actively working to change circumstances, hearts, and lives for your good and His glory.

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s spirit is right alongside us helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” Romans 8:26-28

God is just PLANE good

So I’m currently sitting at Denver International Airport with a final destination of HOME, aka Virginia where I’ll get to see my uncle marry the love of his life at their wedding on Monday. The funny part is that 9 hours ago I was at my local airport in Colorado Springs, with the expectation of arriving home a little later tonight. Obviously, that didn’t end up happening.

A while after having boarded the plane, we were all told that there was a mechanical issue and no estimate of time for it to be fixed. We waited patiently for continued announcements, which unfortunately ultimately resulted in finding out that the issue was worse than they originally realized. We were then given the option to get off the plane. At this point I had no idea what to do, so I did what I’m sure many young adults would: I called my dad. He advised me to make the best decision I could after seeing what my options for other flights would be since I would surely miss my connection.

Now here’s where I started seeing God enter my story of the day. I called the airline’s 800 number (dreading what I thought would be a terrible wait) and was unexpectedly answered (by an actual human!) in less than a minute. The man on the phone was truly so helpful. Halfway through our conversation and him checking alternate flights for me, all of us were called to deplane. Thank God I was ahead of the curve by calling the airline because I was able to set up a new flight route in no time.

Once I got off the plane and approached the counters to receive my new boarding passes, I realized that there were no representatives to be found from my airline. All of us were wandering around aimlessly until I found just one employee to direct me to a specific gate to wait for him. Because of this, I was the very first person in line as it continued to grow behind me with dozens of frustrated flyers waiting to figure out a new flight plan. What grace I was given to have been able to book something new on the phone in a matter of minutes (while everyone around me was scrambling to get ahold of someone) and to be the the first person in line to be helped!

Since my new flight was in Denver over an hour away, I called my roommate Amy asking if she could pick me up and take me back home so I could get my car and drive up north. BLESS HER for being the kindhearted friend she is, because she immediately dropped what she was doing and offered to drive me herself so I wouldn’t have to leave my car here. Once we got on the road, the fun really began & I forgot all about the drama I had a few hours earlier. We drove with the windows down, music blasting, taking in the most beautiful Colorado views. The coolest part of all of this was the adorable little cafe we found to eat at. We soon realized that this restaurant was North Carolina themed! They had a pin board of the state to show where you’re from, and a cute logo shaped like NC with the classic Colorado logo inside. What a wonderful taste of home to have shared together on such a spontaneous day.

Even though I’m about to get a whopping 0 hours of sleep catching this redeye tonight, I can’t rave enough about the way God showed off for me today. In a situation where I easily could’ve gotten stressed & upset, He eased all my concerns through the speedy assistance of an airline agent on the telephone, a prime spot in line, & the selflessness of a sweet friend. I’m so thankful for the peace that the Lord gave me today and I cannot wait to make it home to my family for a few days full of love.

How I Got Where I’m Going

When I first decided to accept the internship offer for the Military Extension Internship Program, I was bursting at the seams to share how God intervened in the most incredible way. Now that I finally have my blog “up & running,” I’d love to tell a little bit of how I got where I’m going.

For my university, I’m required to complete an internship to finish my degree in Recreation, Sport Leadership, and Tourism Management. This meant that I would be spending weeks on weeks wondering where I would accomplish this, & hours on hours applying to 20+ internship and job opportunities across the country. I made a spreadsheet to keep track of all of the applications I sent out, when I was supposed to hear back from each of them, and where they were located. For quite some time I had imagined myself moving to Colorado for the internship, so despite the circumstances I decided to find & apply to as many places there as I could. Amongst a few other interviews from different states, I had two Skype interviews for city recreation internships in the ski towns of Colorado. The first ended up being a hit & miss, as I wasn’t offered the position. I remember being disappointed, but not too discouraged, as I had the second opportunity to still hear back from. Between this time I was also waiting to hear back from a few other places that not only weren’t in my list of top destinations, but also didn’t quite match my career goals. There were many moments where I broke down before God asking for discernment about where He might be calling me, as I vowed to go wherever He would send me, even if I did not want to. I reached out to different people many times for prayer during this situation because I had never felt so directionless & in need of clarity. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that season of utter confusion, worry, but also exhilaration of not knowing where on Earth I would be just a few months later.

I nervously pushed off a couple of internship opportunities as I waited to hear back from the second Colorado ski town, which I considered my “first choice” at the time amongst the internships I had interviewed with. The date for informing us about the decision got pushed back multiple times, so you can imagine the anxiety that continued to arise during that particular week. Finally I was told that I would receive notice one way or another on March 13th, so that Tuesday morning I drove to the beach for sunrise (pictured above!) coming before the Lord for peace and comfort no matter what the decision would be. I went to school afterward like any normal day & tried to maintain my cool as I stared at my phone waiting for a congratulations call, or a “we’re sorry” email. What I got that morning was something totally different.

I was working on a group project in an empty classroom when I got the email. Not from the ski town, but from the coordinator of the Military Extension Internship Program. I had applied to this program back in January, and was told to expect calls for interviews at a time which had already passed–therefore, I assumed I was no longer a candidate being considered since I had not heard anything. Regardless & sure enough, there in my inbox was the email saying I had been selected to be an intern for the Air Force at Peterson AFB, CO. While we could list our preferences on the application, we were not guaranteed placement at any particular base. But God poured His endless favor upon me & blessed me with the chance to go to my number one location of Colorado. I genuinely was in disbelief, yet had the most overwhelming sense of stillness in my heart knowing this was exactly where the Lord wanted me to be. I spent the fall months prior doing some soul-searching about what I wanted to do with my career and how I wanted to serve others. After this course of time I began seeing how God was amplifying my passion & appreciation for the military community, so I sought out internship opportunities which related to this. The MEIP was the only one I found which would fit my needs, so when I hadn’t heard back I thought maybe I had somehow heard God wrong, or maybe He was just having me wait. So when I received this opportunity, at a particular time where I was waiting for a completely different outcome, not to mention in the place where I wanted to move to so badly, I had never felt so sure of a decision before–and I’m the worst at making decisions! The Lord gave me the peace to be so confident in this decision that I immediately quit everything I was doing and sent back the agreement papers accepting the position before I had even heard back from the ski town internship. Believe it or not, later in the day I got the call that I was in fact being offered that position with their city recreation department. If I had received the MEIP email just a day or even several hours later, I would have ended up with the other internship instead since I thought that was what was best for me. But God in all his perfect timing and provision had a better plan for me. While turning it down was not easy after having spent weeks praying for what I thought was the right opportunity for me, I haven’t looked back since because I know where I am now is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Two and a half months later I’m sitting in my hotel nearing the end of my internship orientation in Arlington, VA where I got to meet my mentor from Peterson AFB, interact with the other interns placed around the country, and learn more about what this program will entail. I fly back home tomorrow night and will be leaving for my road trip to Colorado with my dad at dark-thirty the next morning. I’ll be moving into an apartment with one of my best friends who so courageously decided to take this journey out west with me, with the support of an entire community in Virginia and North Carolina behind me cheering me on no matter how far I may be. Albeit lengthy, I hope this snapshot of my story encourages at least one person to continue trusting in the Lord in your pursuit of His will, because you just might find yourself somewhere more beautiful than your wildest dreams.

Colorado, I’m coming for you!