Investments & Adventures: February

I usually hate February. I can’t recall too many notable things happening in my life during this month. However 2019 had some unexpectedly good days for me. To start, this month’s investment was in my career!

I was incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to serve as event coordinator for a Father Daughter Dance hosted on base. I’ve recognized my interest in event planning for a while now, as it was my concentration in college, but this event completely revamped my career aspirations by reminding me how passionate I am about this part of recreation. From creating the decorations, to contacting & contracting the vendors, to choosing the menu, every aspect of planning this dance was a blast for me. Seeing it all come together on February 13th was worth all of the hard work everyone put in. I couldn’t have done it without my friend Yajaunte who did so much of the organizing & creating with me, and of course all of the other staff & volunteers who showed up. Over 300 guests were able to enjoy a special night with their families and I was able to uncover a little more of what God has in store for my career. On top of shifting my career focus back to event planning, I made another big decision for my future which I’m stoked to share more about in the months to come!

My adventure of the month was a girl’s trip to New Mexico with Yajaunte! We had a long weekend over President’s Day and wanted to get away, but most of the places we had in mind originally were too far since I had to work on Saturday. Albuquerque ended up being our final destination and to be honest, it was humorously underwhelming. I think we had more fun just laughing about our destination choice (as we drove for hours on what felt like a road to nowhere) than we did at any of the places we went. BUT, we did end up taking an aerial tramway that provided some gorgeous views. We walked around Old Town with the cutest local shops, ate some amazing food (not referring to the gourmet Lunchables in my campfire picture below), and camped out in some pretty cold weather. This sweet friendship has already given me the best memories, even in the mundane things. Our adventure together next month definitely won’t be a disappointing destination choice!

I determined myself to have a positive outlook on 2019, especially in the first couple of winter months. God has already done nothing but show up & show off in my life and the anticipation for what’s to come is welling up inside of me more than ever before. Now that spring is on its way, it can only keep getting better from here!

Chosen, Not Rejected

This is my second time sitting down to write this post after at least a month of knowing it needed to be written. I’ve recently recognized a heart issue I have: rejection. Not being (or rather, feeling) chosen. Somebody else getting what I wanted. Again. This rejection I’ve felt has come from friends, men (shocker), job situations, and even family members. It’s a heart issue that I didn’t want to admit I had for quite a long time. I stopped writing this the first time because it felt too difficult. I didn’t want to think about all of the ways I’ve felt this rejection, this feeling of being unwanted. I didn’t know if I could muster the right words to actually encourage someone in this area when in reality, I struggle with it more than I probably even realize. But of course, as soon as I closed my laptop and walked away, a perfect example of those feelings entered my day and left me feeling rejected. In that moment, God whispered to me to start again. He knew I needed to write this post for myself as much as someone else needs to read these words.

Does this issue of rejection sound familiar to you? Watching someone choose something or someone else over you, or watching an opportunity you prayed for pass you by? I’m sure all of us have experienced this at one point or another. Once I realized this is a daily struggle of mine, I knew I needed to actively pursue a path to freedom from these feelings. A few weeks ago I found something out which made me feel the ultimate rejection of not being good enough, not being wanted, and not being chosen. That night, God spoke a word into my heart that I’ve echoed to myself daily since then: “I chose you before your existence and I still choose you every day.”

In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of sorrow and guilt for having put so much value into the opinions of man when the only acceptance I’ve ever needed from anyone, I’ve had since the beginning of time. I’m here to tell somebody something today.

You’ve spent too much time thinking about why that opportunity didn’t pan out. 

You’ve wasted too much of your precious energy getting angry at people for leaving you out and forgetting about you.

You’ve occupied too many days wondering what you could have done better to earn the acceptance of someone who never should have gotten that much control over your heart in the first place.

Even as I continue writing this, thoughts of rejection keep filling my mind. The times where I wasn’t chosen by someone else still creep in. I can’t help but think of when I’ve been forgotten, left out, or abandoned. It’s a continuous battle to put the words of the Lord at the forefront of our minds and let them sing louder than those of any other person. But when we learn to, His voice becomes a comfort stronger than the fuzziest blanket or best home-cooked meal you’ve ever had.

Jesus will never forget about you.

Jesus will never leave you.

Jesus will never abandon you.

He only wants to remind you that you are chosen, not rejected, and He wants to keep choosing you every single day. Forever.

“Even before the world was made, God had already chosen us to be his through our union with Christ, so that we would be holy and without fault before him. Because of his love God had already decided that through Jesus Christ he would make us his children–this was his pleasure and purpose.” Ephesians 1:4-5